the turning: sexuality & shame in women's sport

As a child, I was warned tacitly about the pandemic: of dangerous, contagious lesbianism. I rolled my eyes and dismissed it. I was heterosexual but cool.

The Turning is an essay that examines identity, sexuality and labels in the WNBL and AFLW. Its accompanying timeline can be found here.

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A comment left on the internet by a person called Peter Condron. Thank you, Peter.

As a child athlete, I was warned about the pandemic: of dangerous, contagious lesbianism. I rolled my eyes and dismissed it. I was heterosexual but cool. ‘There’s nothing wrong with being gay,’ I recited back. ‘Not all female athletes are gay anyway.’ The warnings became more insidious as I aged through the ranks of elite junior basketball towards senior programs. They were bolder. They were snide. They were louder and urgent and even, regularly, earnest.

Sport, especially in professional environments, is an intense microcosm of human existence where athletes experience a scope of emotion others might expect to live over years, one that is shared within eight months of a season, or forty minutes of a game, or in fleeting seconds of a single offensive play. There is desperation and pain and ecstasy. There is love and trust and support and criticism. The highs are acute, and the lows are crushing. You are working towards a shared goal: bonded under the tension of performance, relying on each other, enduring together. You then celebrate or grieve the failure. It is difficult to hide yourself, and vulnerability is a catalyst for connection. That connection is often deep but still platonic. Other times it crosses into something more. I can understand why, then, from an external perspective, it looks like so many female athletes just become gay.