working body

on femininity, muscularity and professional sport

Photographed by Shannon Catania-Mizzi

I played elite sport throughout my childhood. At twenty-six, I have spent eight years in professional sporting environments across two codes. Sport has consequently existed alongside me through various physical and emotional puberties. It has given me a lot of things: diverse skills, support structures, a wider understanding of myself. It still did not rid me of the self-consciousness attached to existing as a girl, then a woman. It perhaps worsened it.

There is a disparity between women – and non-binary – athletes, and men athletes. It is not just financial. Sportsmen are praised for becoming a physical expression of their activity. Their bodies, with hours of intent and focus, change and tighten and develop and expand and grow. Boys and men do not escape the strain of idealised body image but, ultimately, when they reflect their own labour, it is an achievement. When women work hard with similar results, it is widely accepted as a curse. We are taught to fear the changes our bodies make to adapt. We are taught to fear visible improvement. We are taught, passively and explicitly, to be ashamed.